Déjà Vu
by beckers123
Summary: I can't believe he's done this to me AGAIN. Every time something starts to happen, he always messes it up. I know he cares, he just doesn't care enough. I can't help but keep going back for more, though... MWPP era, SBOC, LJ, etc. Rating will change.


Hello, there! This is just an idea I had… please review, as I'd like to hear any thoughts, criticisms, etc., etc.

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**Déjà Vu**

Chapter One

"Wait… isn't he with Shelley Cobain?" Kenzie said.

Behind Kenzie, Lily quickly met my eyes. She widened her own to show her shock, as well as the general "oh shit" status this situation was quickly descending into.

I refused to show weakness in front of Kenzie; it wasn't her business. "Probably; he's sleazy like that," I offered, rolling my eyes.

Kenzie nodded. "Yeah…" As she turned away, I met Lily's eyes and winced. Lily frowned worriedly. But we both knew we would not be talking about this in front of Kenzie.

Monserrat was shaking her head at me. "That's drama, Sid. That's drama."

I winced. "Well… I'll bitch him out about it. Don't worry."

Kenzie nodded. "Yeah, you definitely should."

My roommates moved on to other gossip, but I remained silent. Lily kept sneaking me looks of pity; she, of course, knew exactly what I was experiencing. Lily always knows how I feel.

Monserrat was running her hands through her tangled curls of brown hair. Monserrat is like Lily in that she's studious and kindhearted, but she is far less interesting. She's somewhat short and curvy, with stylish glasses and a mass of curls. She has a round face and a button nose, and she's tan, but freckled. She's also very into boys, but she's so shy and unnoticeable that she rarely gets with anybody; mostly, she spends her evenings lamenting about her sexual repression to the rest of us.

As Kenzie went on to detail so-and-so's scandalous drama with so-and-so, I tacitly excused myself to the bathroom. As I entered, I glanced back at Lily; she raised her eyebrows at me pityingly.

I locked the door and sat down on the side of the counter adjacent the wall. I leaned against the mirror and hugged my knees.

_Shit_.

I replayed what had just occurred in my head.

It was a typical dormitory conversation: me and my roommates – Lily Evans, Kenzie O'Donahue, Monserrat St-Gerard – sitting on and around Kenzie's bed to discuss our lives.

As usual, Monserrat prodded, "So, Sid, how's your love life?"

And of course, I answered the inevitable, "Complicated."

Kenzie glanced over at me curiously. "Really? Who've you been hooking up with?"

I raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Guess."

Kenzie frowned. "Um… well the only person coming to mind is Henry, but I thought you were straight off him."

I shook my head in amusement. "Are you kidding?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "It really isn't that hard a guess, Kenzie…"

Kenzie frowned again. "I really don't…"

Monserrat figured it out. "You're hooking up with him again?" she cried. "Sid! You _know_ what happened last time!"

Kenzie pouted. "I still don't know who it is!"

I rolled my eyes. "Kenzie, who's a guy that I hang out with all the time, know really well, and am always at the very least _accused _of hooking up with?"

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "_Sirius_?"

I nodded wryly. "You think?"

And then she said those dreadful words:

"Wait… isn't he with Shelley Cobain?"

Back in the bathroom, I sighed. _God damnit, Sirius!_ You _always_ do this! Don't tell me something, sure, and then the next thing you know I'm stuck in a shitty situation like this one!

Lily knocked on the door. "Sid? It's me."

I slid off the counter and went to let her in. She closed the door behind her and sat down on the floor. She shook her head at me. "Gosh, I'm sorry."

I winced. "Yeah, well, déjà vu, anyone?"

She shook her head again, and sighed. "You definitely called this one."

I nodded. "Yeah. Doesn't make me any less pissed off, though."

She nodded, too. "Yeah. God, that's so sleazy of him."

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Yeah. It is."

Lily came over and hugged me. "Well, I love you, at any rate…"

I looked up and smiled at her. "I know."

She suddenly frowned. "God! Sid, I know you're friends with him, but when he does stuff like this… I hate him so much! I mean, honestly, _why_ are you friends with him? Like if there's one girl in the world who he could actually care about enough to stop being so sleazy, it's _you_, and yet he always ends up doing _this_ stuff!"

I shook my head, trying to be amused at the irony. It's true, I'm probably the only girl who knows Sirius well enough to forgive him his numerous faults and actually care about him for more than superficial reasons, and yet every time anything starts to happen, he ruins it.

Sometimes he'll even apologize in advance. "Oh, for the record, I'll probably mess this up – so I apologize now for anything that might happen."

I always laugh. It's better that way.

"Sid – honestly, why are you friends?" Lily asked gently. "You always just end up getting hurt…"

I shook my head. The reasons for our friendship are extremely complicated, but start, I suppose, with the fact that I've known him since before we attended Hogwarts – back when he was a sweet, innocent little boy. And even now, attending school with our different sets of friends, he tells me everything.

Or used to. We still talk all the time, but apparently I'm no longer privy to lists of who he's been tapping.

"We're friends because I don't judge him," I murmured, oddly serene. "We're friends because, so long as I'm not involved in any of the immoral stuff he does, I don't mind that he does it. Love the sinner, hate the sin, you know?"

Lily shook her head. "Honestly, you need to talk to him," she said. "And however he responds will tell you an awful lot about him as a friend."

I sighed. "Of course I'll talk to him. I always talk to him." Suddenly I groaned. "Damnit! Shelley Cobain? I _so_ called that! And _god_ do I feel awful for Shelley! I'm sure she has absolutely no idea! And I'm sure he doesn't think they're together, either."

Lily sighed, too. "Go talk to him, Sidney. Right now's a good time, I think."

I nodded. "I will!" Then I gave her a weak smile, and reached for the basket of makeup on the counter. "No need to show up looking less than perfect," I explained, and Lily smiled at me affectionately.

"Well, I'll always love you, Sid."

"I know, Lils."

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When I reached Sirius's dormitory, I was greeted by Peter. "What's up, Sidney? Looking for Sirius?"

I nodded. "I am. Call him out, will you?"

Peter nodded and called over his shoulder, "Padfoot! Sidney's here!"

Sirius soon came over, dressed in pajama bottoms and a bathrobe. "Hey." As always, he looked damn fine standing in the doorway, his bare chest visible, his dark hair falling gracefully into his gray eyes. I recognized the loamy, spicy smell I had known since we were little.

"C'mere a moment," I said bluntly, beckoning him outside. "I need to talk to you."

He raised one eyebrow (I taught him that trick when we were ten) and followed me. "What's up, Sid?"

I waited until Peter shut the door, and then frowned at him. "Um, well pretty much you've been the _sleaziest_ guy ever!"

He didn't react at all; he simply watched me.

"Shelley Cobain's been convinced the two of you are together for at _least_ two weeks, and last I checked, you and I definitely _made out_ two days ago!"

A corner of his mouth twitched. "Well, what do you want me to say?"

I shrugged. "I'm not sure… just… well, look, Sirius, I know you and I are just old friends who, if we get a little _drunk_ or are a little _tired_ or… I'm _sad_ or whatever… are prone to hook up. I'm not disillusioned, or anything." I paused for effect. "But _man_, it is fucked up of you to do that to _her_."

He met my eyes. "Jeez, Sid, did you come all the way up here just to try to make me feel bad?"

I shook my head. "Well, I know you don't feel guilty. And if it weren't _me_, Sirius – if it were some other girl you were doing on the side – I wouldn't hold it against you. It's just… when it comes to you and girls, I'm always either the 'other woman' or else _assumed_ to be the 'other woman.' And I'd much rather people just _assumed_, you know?"

He didn't say anything, so I continued to rant.

"And _seriously_, Sirius! You know me pretty _damn_ well – and you _know_ I hate being in this situation! Be an absolute prick to Shelley, fine – but do _not_ involve me in it! And speaking of which, you _need_ to tell me these things! I hate doing things like this to another girl! And I know that you don't have morals when it comes to these things, but I can't be here to make sure you stay moral if you don't clue me _in_!"

But then he started smiling at me, and I couldn't help but laugh. This was so typical: Sirius being sleazy, me lecturing him, and then us laughing. Maybe I'm a really bad person after all.

"Look, Sid, I don't know why she thinks we're together," he remarked. "I only hooked up with her like three times."

I rolled my eyes. "She's disillusioned! She doesn't _know_ you!" I laughed again, because he was grinning at me. "Of _course_ she thinks you're together!" I added hopelessly.

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Honestly, Sid, I don't see what the big deal is. Worst case, she gets hurt… and, I suppose, best case, she gets hurt. Either way you walk off fine. What's the issue?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "Because I'm a nice person! And I know she's completely into you, and, like I already said, I hate doing things like this to another girl!"

He laughed. "You care too much."

I laughed too. "You don't care enough."

We stood in silence for a few moments, both smiling despite ourselves. Moments like this were so common, it was almost depressing.

Almost.

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Review, please! I don't know how much I like this. If I get enough good reviews I'll do another chapter going into background information on what's been going on. All will be deliciously scandalous and entertaining, I promise :)

Ciao!


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